And it rained; it poured. She stood, waiting
.....for him to turn around. She didn't want him to leave.
All that she wanted was for him to be in her life,
.....it wasn't too much to ask.
And it rained; it poured. She stood, wondering
.....what she had done wrong to make him go.
She wanted a mother and a father. She dreamt
.....of the days when the table was set for three.
And it rained; it poured. She stood, knowing
.....that it was over. She would not let him hurt her again.
This would be the last time. She wouldn't
.....wait for him anymore, or wish for his love.
And it raind; it poured. She stood, watching
.....the profile of her father shrink into the distance.
I liked revising this poem because the more I revised it, the more I learned about it. I originally wasn’t sure what exactly it was about and I guess that’s why it was so vague and abstract in the first draft. Now I think I’ve really developed the story and I liked the imagery that I used. At first I didn’t understand how to not make it prosy because I’m not used to writing poems, but now I know that using images makes it less prosy.
ReplyDeleteI like writing poems that have a repeating phrase and I really like the pathetic fallacy in this one. I originally titled it “Childhood,” but Professor McAulife suggested I change it to something to do with the weather and that took me a long time to figure out a new title.