The Fall to Freedom

Each drop smacks my skin with a forceful plop,
and at first, I don't mind this fresh bath.
But as the rain picks up, forceful becomes painful
when the drops fall harder and faster on my bare skin.
I'm not alone, the others are too at the mercy of the rain,
but I think I am the only one that would rather not be here.


At times, the ground looks like freedom,
complete with bugs, grass, and dirt.
It's not right to wish to fall, I can't tell them
that I wait for the day when I'm on my own.
Here, we are a family, cared for by our trunk,
united by our branches, attached by our stems.


Here, we are fortunate; given food, water, security,
but I wonder what it's like to be on my own.
I want to blow freely in the wind, dancing
my way from limb to perch.
I want to meet the grass and the flowers,
and make friends with the earthworms.


I look forward to when it's my turn to fall;
to them, it's the end, but to me,
it's only the beginning.

Breaking

Remember the time when you gave it all of your might,

and it slipped through your fingers.

Remember the time when you gave it all of your heart,

and it tore you to pieces.

There was a time when you didn't let anyone in;

no one could hurt you from the outside.

There was a time when all you wanted was to be alone;

you had control that way.

Remember the time when your wall came crashing down,

because enough is enough.

Remember the time when you stopped trying

to keep people out.

Because when you have nothing else left to lose,

........0l.e..t..... g...o.....

"Fear of Happiness"

Looking back, it's something that I've always had:
As a kid, it was a glass-floored elevator
I cround at at the bottom of it, my eyes squinched tight,
Or staircase whose gaps I was afraid I'd slip through,
Though someone always said I'd be all right-
Just don't look down or See, it's not so bad
(The nothing rising underfoot). Then later
the high-dive at the pool, the tree-house perch,
Ferris wheels, balconies, cliffs, a penthouse view,
The merest thought of airplanes. You can call
It a fear of heights, a horror of the deep;
But it isn't the unfathomable fall
That makes me giddy, makes my stomach lurch,
It's that the ledge itself invents the leap.
.............................-A.E. Stallings

Poetry, March 2010

37th Floor

Elevator beeps, people step in.
Doors close, people wait.
Elevators go up, people are silent.
Doors open, people step out.


Papers are shuffled. People are working.
Blinds are closed. People are concentrating.
Computers are on. People are typing.
Doors are closed. People are talking.


Her foot taps. She stands up.
Her blinds are shut. She pulls them open.
The rain is falling. She stares out the window.
The streets are crowded. She waits for quiet.


The rooftops are empty. She is alone.
Eyes closed, she sighs. Finally, she's able to breathe.

Everyday

On her hands and knees she works, all day, to fix
.....the pipes under the sink, so that the spigot will stop leaking.
All night the water drips, plink plink plink, in the sink,
.....like pennies being thrown into a wishing pond.
Her list of chores grows with each plink, another night
.....of work overflowing past her control.

"Helena!" her mother yells. She gives her orders in Ukranian, a language
....unfamiliar to Lana, yet she rises from her burrow under the sink.
Her mother wants something, she always wants something, Lana
....guesses that a cold pop from the icebox will silence her for now.
She returns to her burrow to find her baby brothers splashing around
....and making a mess; two puppies that have never seen water before.

Plink plink plink. Water drips from the leaky spigot
....on and on throughout the night.
Lana lies awake, staring at the paint flakes that decorate
....the ceiling. A strip of sunlight shines across the floor.

She sighs, ... and gets out of her makeshift bed. .. It starts all over again.

Eight Inches of Rain and Counting...

And it rained; it poured. She stood, waiting
.....for him to turn around. She didn't want him to leave.
All that she wanted was for him to be in her life,
.....it wasn't too much to ask.
And it rained; it poured. She stood, wondering
.....what she had done wrong to make him go.
She wanted a mother and a father. She dreamt
.....of the days when the table was set for three.
And it rained; it poured. She stood, knowing
.....that it was over. She would not let him hurt her again.
This would be the last time. She wouldn't
.....wait for him anymore, or wish for his love.
And it raind; it poured. She stood, watching
.....the profile of her father shrink into the distance.